My New World Order

On December 21, 2012, the Mayan Calendar ended. This marked yet another unrealized doomsday scenario foretelling the apocalyptic end of the world. In my lifetime, the world has endured despite scores of similar prophecies put forth by notable, yet controvertible, visionaries including Jean Dixon, Charles Manson, John Gribbin, Nostradamus, The Amazing Criswell and countless religious fanatics. Passage to the 21st century prompted a remarkable convergence of disastrous predictions, where a good number of otherwise reasonable folk prepared for a technological armageddon in anticipation of Y2K.

My personal favorite doomsday scenario was the Rapture, mainly due to the hilarious pictures that "documented" the ascension with carefully arranged clothing and props laid out on lawns, in streets and in homes where the righteous once were. There was something remarkably amusing that immerged from the incredulity that people whole heartedly embraced this divine eventuality that would lift them above all others. The death scene of one such believer in a Six Feet Under episode was priceless.

My friends, Tom and Mer, had it right – if the world is coming to an end, let’s have a solstice party to celebrate! It struck me that the end of the Mayan calendar might offer opportunity for significant growth and change. What if we embraced this as closure to the end of the world as we know it, dispensing with the old and bringing on the new? Erase the slate and redesign. Throw out the script and begin writing a new chapter or perhaps a different story altogether. I imagined a New World order devised from a Rawlsian original position, where we could potentially address vexing social, political and economic issues. While not entirely feasible for the world, this was something I could reasonably implement for myself to recreate my own life.

My focus turned to the countless lists I have made throughout my adult life detailing desired changes to personal habits, professional life, daily routines and life dreams. Some items have persisted for decades. What if I compiled all of these lists and simply drew a line that signified the end of the old world and embarked upon an entirely new way of being? What if instead of perpetuating various resolutions for change, I did a wholesale division of old Jane and new Jane with a hard, solid line between the two? This was not about changing my habits, but about changing my thinking. It was not about maintaining a continuum of my life, but creating an entirely new paradigm that made the old ways of being obsolete.

This notion gained traction as I contemplated my existence as a middle aged woman, which has inadvertently thwarted a new construct upon me that necessitates some personal reconfiguration and planning for the next life phase. This awareness has not exactly elicited any sense of “embrace”, as the most obvious transformations erode perceptions of benefit. Some mode of evolution is clearly required to put this all in a more positive space. Yet, life changes are not entirely comfortable, often resulting in fear and resistance in anticipation of loss and uncertainty. I have never been good with transitions marked by prolonged thresholds. I have resided in this particular passageway for a couple of years.

At the same time, I am aware of ways I have veered off my own chosen path. This has nagged at me for several years, as I find myself living out of synch with some core values. This was not a conscious choice, but a byproduct of decisions opting for more immediate concerns and adjusting to life circumstances – what I call choosing with my feet rather than my heart, head and hands. In some cases, I made some conscious choices that brought me to unintended destinations, where I discovered an absence of fit. I have been reluctant to overcome my own inertia and shift directions to right myself, for various reasons ranging from laziness and avoidance to loss of comfort and security. The dissonance grows louder demanding some mode of adjustment to quiet things.

Given the level of octane fueling change, I decided to bite the bullet - the end of the Mayan calendar would mark the end of my world as I knew it. I would construct my new world order and embark upon my next life phase, fully understanding that this would not be without considerable pain.

What the Mayans failed to provide is a road map. It takes time for the destruction of an old world to fully transpire. The dust must settle before a new world can be constructed in its place. None of this happens over night. Procrastination has taught me that it takes a full season, from solstice to equinox, to allow such a shift to take hold. Spring is required for rebirth and rebuilding. Thus, my journey begins in earnest next week.

Developing a new world order takes time, thought and planning. I give myself this next season to lay the foundation, beginning with personal habits and daily routines. This blog represents one footing. I give myself the full year to put the girders in place to frame up the structure of my future life, and perhaps start putting some primary systems in place. I look forward to finishing, furnishing and, most of all, landscaping.

Here’s to my new world order. It is time to embrace my next life phase.